Jess (xmy_absolutionx) wrote,

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You Are Not the Father - Maury Revealed

I'm watching the MAURY show right now; the first time I saw the show was about two years ago and I must say, it gets very repetative.
It seems that most of the ladies are either an obese white lady with a skinny, pin-headed trailer-park boyfirend with names like Delmar or Billy Bob,
while the other majority of women are usually among the black-with-some-tacky-hairdo (often dyed red) with pointy shoes & talks like she's mentally impaired, variety.
Her man is usually a dredlocked or cornrowed dude with a name like Akbar or Junior, in a basketball jersey or something.
When Maury does the paternity test, and the man is NOT the father, the fat mother screams and runs off the stage in drunken hysterics while the man jumps around the stage.
However, when the man tested IS the father (which is somewhat more rare) the woman will stick her ugly face in the greasy man's space and scream "I told you so!" , like a banshee resurrected from the grave. They have NO shame or dignity!
Like THAT'S going to get the guy to support their bastard childen! Yeah, right!

On a happer note, these meme's must be getting annoying but they're so much fun! Try it, this one was fun.

Instructions: Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud, and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING.

How does the world see you?
The “Fog Bound” world by Klaus Badelt thinks I’m “Deadwood”

Will I have a happy life?
My life will be spent with my Leaha Boschen “Violin” as an everlasting “Independence Day” by Melanie C

What do my friends really think of me?
My friends think I’m a “Damsel in Distress” by Indina Menzel

What do people secretly think of me?
People secretly think I’m “Nitro” and in “Another Day” I’m a “Woman” (by Wolfmother)

How can I be happy?
”I’m Just a Kid” who is “Fancy” and a ‘Rich Girl” (that sounds pretty happy to me)

Will I ever have children?
If I ever have kids I will be “Back on the Chain Gang” and will move to “California”

What is some good advice for me?
“Suddenly I See” that “Chelsea Dagger” is “Spineless”

How will I be remembered?
I will be remembered for being (Steve Miller’s) “The Joker” which includes being “a smoker, midnight toker and playing my music in the sun” (If you don’t get it, listen to the dang song!)

What is my signature dancing song?
My signature dancing song is “Makes me Wonder” by Maroon 5

What do I think my current theme song is?
I think my currant theme song is “Operate” by Peaches (The Halloween party song from Mean Girls)

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Everyone else thinks my current theme song is (again) “Rich Girl” by Gwen Stefani (wow, that one’s true.)

What song will play at my funeral?
They will play “She’s a Rebel” by Green Day

What is my day going to be like?
My day will be “Some Kind of Wonderful” if you “Love Me or Hate Me”. I will meet “Mary Jane”, a “Dude Looks Like a Lady” who is giving an “Ashokan Farwell” to “Cool” people with their “Hands Clean” and will end with “I Always Get What I Want” on “The Edge of Seventeen”.
Tags: maury, meme
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